Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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