At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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