Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
