if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
As shirtless as possible
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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