I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
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Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
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Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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