the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
