His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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