Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
