How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
