I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
