suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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