their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
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you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
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We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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