call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
