I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
