Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
