i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
