My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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