Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
