direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
