Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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