There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
