i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
what the fuck happened to the tacos
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
