Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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