the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
