Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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