Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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