I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
