good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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