Kiss
Puke
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
