do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
