ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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