I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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