Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
