Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
This is classic penis vs brain.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
