Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
So much Jack, so little girl.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
