yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Randomize
