Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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