so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
