is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
