So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
