Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
