so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
