Only a mothe r could love this liver
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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