Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
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