1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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