Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
