I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
