Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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