....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
