The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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