morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
