I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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