i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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