Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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