you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
