I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
