Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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