I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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