i barfeds in our rink
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
