he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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