Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
