so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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