there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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