Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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