Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize