we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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