a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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