The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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