WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
