I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
