TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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