The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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