yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
