I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize