So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
